Monday, February 25, 2013

House Cleaning, Weddings, 80's Aerobic Gear, and Other Half Truths

UGHHH.. I've put off cleaning for 2 weeks now. Actually I can't blame it all on my laziness, it's all the Flu's fault!  So today... I clean, I organize, I try and make some sense of the madhouse that has formed around me.
I'm reminded of my Mother, who we joke came out of the womb cleaning! Not a trait I inherited. I came out of the womb, blissfully unaware that things get dirty around me until i fall over it, shouting "IT WILL BE OK"! Which as you know, my Sister's with all their pent up humor, will most likely carve this very thing on  my tomb-stone.. along with "Not the Baby"!  Which of course will make me haunt them... which in itself should be enough to make them play nice, and leave my tombstone saying "Best Sister, EVER!" Whatever... I need to clean.........

My Oldest daughter has informed me she is getting married. I have one year to lose all the weight I need to lose, so I can look like the "hot" mom. Well, I don't wanna go in there being the "fat" mom! So.. I had hubby dust off the stationary bike, and bring down the Nordic-Trac from the attic.  NOW... Where did I hide all my 80's inspired aerobic work-out clothes? (I picture myself looking like the girl from flashdance, or maybe like Olivia Newton-John in "Let's get Physical". When really.. I am just.. well.. "Fat Amy") Headband.. check   Leg-warmers...check....wrist bands.. check check. What are those for anyway? If the head band is already keeping the sweat from dripping in my eyes, what purpose do they serve? OH.. They look cool... I see.. sigh..   Maybe back in the Spring of 1986, which is probably when I last wore them.  Or exercised for that matter. OK, that is just a half truth... I have exercised since 1986, just not as much as I used to. Like these pounds I've gained over the years are going to go away by themselves. If I just think about eating a piece of cake and gain ten pounds, then why can't just thinking about exercising for 45 minutes take that weight off?  Just sayin'    Well, whatever the case, I want to look my best for this wedding. Would love to hear comments like, "man she has hardly aged at all" or "she looks better than she ever has" or even just a nice "Wow" would suffice. So anyway, my Ski-machine awaits. Here's to a smaller butt in 2013!




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